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How to the Find Right Community

We have all been where you are, searching high and low for the right people to share experiences with. Finding a genuine community, however, can prove difficult. This issue is especially prevalent in our current society that revolves around technology! But, there are the people out there for you, sometimes it just takes a little bit of looking.

Why Finding a Community is Important

Having a community that uplifts, supports, and respects you is incredibly important for your healing journey and your feelings of connection. The human experience is based on our connection to others, so having a solid group of people in your life is really important. Whether you are actively healing yourself from past experiences or just wish you had an amazing circle of people to share your thoughts with, a community is more important than ever.

Here are some benefits to feeling like you belong in a community:

  • Lower rates of anxiety, depression, and loneliness

  • Higher self-esteem

  • More empathy and trust in others

  • Improved sleep

  • Better immune function

  • Less stress

  • Decreased blood pressure

How to Find Your Community

Finding the people you would like to be around can be difficult. Depending on where you are in life, you may find that your opportunities to meet new people are quite small. This is especially true if you are someone who is not in school or works from home. You probably find yourself wondering where you can even find others to connect with. But, the first step in finding your community is outlining what you’d like. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you:

  • What qualities would I like to share with my community?

  • How many people would I like to be a part of my community?

  • How often would I like to meet?

  • Do I have a gender preference in my community? Would I feel more comfortable with people who share my gender identity?

  • Am I looking for a specific outcome to meeting with this group of people?

  • Do I feel ready to be part of a community?

  • What do I bring to a community setting that I would value?

Once you feel as though you know what you would like out of a community it is important to recognize that finding one is a journey by itself. But, there is science behind genuine, compatible connections. If you are looking for a solid group of people you need to spend time with them repeatedly.

You will not be able to meet once and automatically feel like part of the community. It is important to interact in person over time. Social researchers found that it takes about 40-60 hours of time together within the first few weeks of meeting to form a casual friendship. It can take up to 100 hours for a close friendship. This also allows you to feel out the community.

Where Can You Find a Community?

So, you’ve considered the parts of a community that feel important to you. Now it’s time to get out there! When going to places to find the group of people you are seeking it is important to think of how you might interact with them in the location and what similarities this place will bring out in you. Here are a few places you can search for community:

  • Spiritual Places

  • Skill/Hobby Classes

  • Yoga, Dance, Pilates, or other Exercise Classes

  • Advocacy/Interest Groups

  • Clubs

  • Support Groups

  • Adult Sports Leagues

Finding the right community for you can be an incredibly daunting task. But those people are out there waiting for you and your input! We all want to be part of a community and connect with others. Do not be intimidated by the prospect of finding the right community for you. Just know that others are wanting the same thing and the people that are meant to be in your life will end up there.


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