We have all seen one form or another of this familiar meme: Leap! And the net will appear. Well, yeah. But why in the world would I leap when it is so incredibly cozy up here? And the view! It’s so nice! No thanks. I will just sit here and drink my coffee ☕️ where I am not at risk of failing, or falling on my face, or losing my life’s savings, or looking like a fool.
Then again, if I leap, I could win, I could reach the dream I’ve had for a decade, I could be bigger than that dream. I could be the next Oprah….But..
It is so scary 🙀🙀 I am just not good enough. I don’t know the first thing about running my own business. The world doesn’t need another Oprah. Well, duh. What the world needs is you. Someone full of courage and passion and a little blind faith.
Making a big move can sometimes be paralyzing. Whether it’s moving to a new city or finally quitting your daily grind in pursuit of that natural deodorant company you’ve been secretly doodling logos for, taking the leap can be terrifying. Taking the leap can also be exhilarating.
So how do you peel your stuck feet from the earth and jump (without asking someone to push you)?
Here are some simple practices to put in place that may help you bust a move.
- Whether your dream business is still germinating in your head or already a side-hustle, get with people that think and act like you do. Every industry has a network. Every group has a tribe. Start talking to people in the industry you are looking to enter. Visit networking groups where you can meet other business owners (in and out of your industry) that are a few steps ahead of you and learn what helped them succeed. People love to help others that share their goals and aspirations. A great place to start is your local Chamber of Commerce or BNI chapters. If you are a woman (sorry, guys), I can not emphasize enough how useful and critical it can be to find a business women’s group that you jive with. They are everywhere, even online. Find them and connect.
- Gift yourself some quiet time to day dream. Take your logic hat off for an hour and let your dreamy mind take over. Where in time would you like to see your success come to fruition? Is it in a year? Five years? Ten years? Put yourself there. Use your senses and connect with what your definition of success is. Take a look around. What does your family life look like? What does your work week look like? Your workspace? How many people work with you? What do those relationships feel like? What does your bank account look like? Your retirement account? Practice this exercise daily. It wont take you more than 10 minutes. Make it a habit as unbreakable as brushing your teeth or grabbing that cup of joe.
- Get it down on paper. There is something magical birthed from the process of writing down what you want and what you believe is possible. The tangibility of your words has the power of creating a certain level of unconscious accountability that will push you forward. So make a list or write yourself a letter that you can keep with you and read until you’ve got it memorized, until you have no choice but to believe it. Why is owning your own business important to you? Get real. What will calling your own shots afford you? Flexibility? Financial security? The chance to do things your way? Get specific. What kind of life will you enjoy when you succeed at your dreams? What does it look, smell, feel like?
Yes, taking a leap of faith can be scary but you are the master of your life and your experience. This is your shot so take it. Let the little steps before the proverbial leap be what gives you the courage and fortitude you seek to follow your dreams. Want to start looking for your tribe? Come hang out with us! We are here to serve and inspire you to see what is already possible.
It was only a few years ago that I woke up in the morning with ta simple and familiar thought: “Ugh!” When was this never ending hamster wheel going to finally stop? I had worked the same job for over six years and the same career for over 10. I was bored and ready for some adventure, some challenge in my work life. I needed a change. After talks and tears with my husband we agreed that starting something new at the wasn’t exactly financially responsible. After all, we had a mortgage, car loans and after school programs for the kids that we had made commitments to.
So I was stuck. I wanted to whine about it. The great luck that I had was that I whined to the right friend. With a wide smile on her face she gave me tons of advice. This is my one friend that is hardly ever cranky and has a (almost annoyingly consistent) way of always looking at the bright side of things.
I admit that some of it sounded kind of hokey and although I said I would, I had no intention of following through. Here is what I did try and what helped me change my relationship with my job.
- I chose one thing I could do for myself before everyone at home woke up. Even though it was painful to set the alarm 15 minutes earlier than usual, I committed to fit that activity into my day, so I did. I chose stretching for 10 minutes. It may seem inconsequential but after I hit 40 my body started making unfamiliar creaking noises and I am not about to go down without a fight 💪🏾. It was surprising how much more engaged and awake my body felt when I stretched before even drinking my morning cup of coffee.
- The minute I got out of bed I grabbed a small notepad on my night stand and wrote down three things I was already grateful for. Note that the first few weeks I wrote down the same things over and over again: my health, my family’s health, the roof over my head. After about the second week I got more granular: toothpaste (because, seriously, morning breath 🙊), coffee, hair conditioner specially made for curly hair.
- Here is where work came in (I didn’t forget-turns out that me taking care of me helps me love my gig-who knew?) After writing down what I am grateful for, I wrote down three things that I wanted to accomplish at work for the day. Of course, I started with what was part of my regular job duties and that got old (and disappointing) quickly. It was when I switched to the things that I had more power over that I felt that this exercise was coming together for my benefit. The first day it clicked for me my three things were: connect with Connie because it’s been forever and I have managed to forget her son’s name; Call Ernesto (client I sold 3 years ago and really enjoyed talking to) to see how the service is going and if I can be of any help; Bring a frappuccino to Karla in accounting for ignoring my missed expenses deadline (again).
I’ll admit that at the beginning this felt silly. And although there were times that I still got caught up in the same-old, same-old of my work, I felt a greater sense of control over my day. What eventually started to happen was that because I started my day with self care and expecting the best, I often found the best-at work, in my commute, with my colleagues. It really can be all about perspective. I am not at perma-smile level positivity yet when it comes to work but I am 90% of the way there. I even had someone ask me recently “How do you always look at the positive side of things? It’s so annoying!” So I gave him some tips. I expect at least one of them landed for him.
If you have other tools you have implemented to get re-engaged at work, share them with us! We are all ears! Like this post? remember to share the love and subscribe, or follow us on social. We’d love your company and insight!
For many of us our relationships with friends and co-workers are as close as family. There are time we may even spend more time with them than we do our own spouses and kids. These relationships are important and help us define our place in the world. What happens when the relationships are taking in more than they are giving?
Join us on Friday, July 21 for our latest Power Series session “Rise Above Toxic Relationships.”
Where: Bodhi Wellness Center @ 191 Giralda Avenue, Penthouse 101
When: Friday, July 21 at 9:00am – 10:30am
Reserve your seat: TODAY!
They say that when we stop growing we start dying. When was the last time you learned something for the love of it? What is getting in the way of your continued growth?
This may be hard to believe but there was a time in my not so long ago life where I experienced many bouts with deep anger. When I found myself firmly planted in that space full of rage I felt completely outside of my own body. It was as if I was watching a slow motion film of my appalling behavior and found myself unable to stop it. When I would yell I could see the veins coming out of my neck and my blood would feel hot, my head light and foggy. I would throw fists and random objects at anything in my way and watch as hideous words escaped my lips.
The episodes where short but numerous, each one more draining than the last. I was left feeling empty and numb, in mental and physical pain and discomfort. Eventually I would break down mid-shower or while running an errand and experience guilt and shame and most of all, overwhelming disappointment. It was in one of these moments of numbness and shame that I decided to understand and overcome what it was that had a hold on me and my emotions.
Why did I feel so angry and out of control?
When our heads are rattling around in those dark, anger-filled places, finding your way out can seem almost impossible. But it is in this moment where we have the most power. When we connect with the harshest parts of ourselves we only have one great new place to go to, up and out.
Releasing our anger brings us an inner peace that allows us to create a more wholesome, joyful life. It is with one single, committed decision that we can prevail over this now tired habit. The moment you decide to live as your authentically happy self (I know you are in there) is the moment you set ourself free.
So, I know this sounds simple and you’re probably wondering how in the world you can move from wanting to lunge for the throat of those you love the most one minute to peacefully smiling and flowing. Well, like with everything else, there’s a process.
Start with this: let yourself off the hook. So you have memories of experiences that you aren’t necessarily proud of. So your family and friends have stories to tell about how insane you’ve behaved when angry in the past. The key to all this is accepting that all of those experiences and emotions and behaviors are in the past. Your power is in the here and now, not in the way-back-when. Bring your attention to the new, in the present, you. It definitely makes a big difference when you can forgive and feel compassion for yourself. This will not be a one time deal. You will become a master at self-forgiveness. Practice, practice, practice.
It’s time to take it to the next level: assessment. You want to get knee-deep and comfortable in what triggers your anger. Treat yourself to a notebook (for those of you who are paper-averse, the notes app on your phone works too). There is no need for a long winded, wordy, emotional journal entry. In fact, keep it short and sweet. You want to log three simple things:
- What triggered the anger
- At the moment you identified that you were angry, where in your body did you feel it?
- On a scale from 1-10, how intense was it?
You are keeping this as a way to understand where you are-not as a way to log how bad you are at not being angry (see above: let yourself off the hook). Seeing the patterns written out in front of you makes it easier to know where you are and where you are going.
Now that you have clarity of what’s triggering you, what do you do? Easy peasy: adopt a meditation routine that you are excited to implement on a daily basis. I know I just lost some of you but please come back. When many of us with few (or zero) meditation hours under our belt hear the word meditation we picture someone in a robe or at the very least, yoga pants, sitting cross legged under a tree, calmly breathing and floating three inches off the earth. I got two words for you: baby steps. Start with five minutes a day. Spend this time breathing into the parts of the body where you felt your anger that day, imagine letting it go-literally visualize anger leaving your body. Keep a 1-10 scale on the side of your mind and practice bringing that number all the way to one as you release the anger.
Lastly, remember you are not alone. Ask for help from people in your life. If you don’t have helpful and compassionate people in your life yet, go meet some. They are everywhere, many are online. Find a YouTube channel with meditation videos you like or look for an intro to meditation class. They are out there, many resources are free.
We are always here to help, just a phone call or comment away. Book your complimentary consultation or visit us at our free workshops. You can uncover the roots of the matter and recover a happy, successful you.
So it’s Valentine’s day today – is it bringing up old memories? New ones? Small glimpses into the person you used to be. Perhaps it was a word, or a look, or even a scent that ignited that old memory to pop into your mind: the memories of being head-over-heels in love. That time when all you could think about was them. Your person. And you thought: This is it.
Whether you go all out today and hire a Mariachi band to serenade your sweetheart (yeah – you know who you are) or you tell everyone that this is just another Hallmark holiday, love is in the air. But we all know love isn’t about chocolates and lingerie. Love is a state of mind we either cultivate and enjoy or we gradually disconnect from.
Many of us in long term relationships have moved past the giddy honeymoon stage and are knee deep in familiarity. Summoning those belly butterflies can be an act of deliberate effort. Our personal and work environments are constantly moving and changing. There are times that we move so quickly trying to keep up that we forget what connecting with our senses feels like. We forget what “being in love” feels like. So why not implement these simple steps and reconnect with that innate love and excitement:
- Sit in silence and let your mind wander over to a memory of feeling deeply in love. Remember this memory with each of your senses. What did that moment look, smell, taste, sound, and feel like?
- Take one sense at a time and truly savor it. Notice how your body feels and what emotions come up.
- Plan some time with your romantic partner doing something together for just a few minutes and experience your senses together. Make it deliberate and familiar. It could be making love or even walking for five minutes holding hands. It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing as long as you’re together practicing the same intention: to reconnect.
We fall in love in the moments in which we are most present. Be present with your loved one so your mind relearns to scan every moment for all that is wonderful. You will quickly start to remember why you chose this person to love in the first place.
It can take some effort to step out of the familiar and into romance and sensuality. So, this Valentine’s day, retrain your mind to fall in love with everything: with yourself, your partner, your job, and your environment.
The decision to renew your love is a testament of your strength and your commitment to happiness. Remember that you’re not alone and it’s absolutely okay to ask for help! Reach out to your favorite hypnotist to start renewing the love in your life today!
The idea that we are our “own worst critic” is so commonly accepted that it’s almost a cliche. There’s plenty of reasons/excuses/stories as to why we speak so harshly towards ourselves. Maybe the negative voice in your head sounds a lot like your mother. Perhaps when you let yourself dream, the “old you that failed before” interrupts with evidence of why you can’t make it work. For all you know, the negative talk is something that has been there for so long now that you’ve forgotten that it’s not the natural order of things. Continue reading “From Critic To Cheerleader: Revise Your Negative Thinking”
When we hear the words toxic, our minds can go in so many different directions. Personally, my mind immediately goes to Britney Spears’ circa 2007 – you remember, right? She experienced a major meltdown that year. Seconds after I indulge the thoughts on Spears, my mind goes to food. I think about the toxins that I’m ingesting, and the pesticides. That’s toxic, too, at least in my book.
So pesticides and celebrities – that’s my go-to association with “toxic.” But, really, there’s a more relevant and personal toxicity that many (if not all) of us experience: toxic people and the relationships we have with them. Some of us are born into toxic households or family environments that are dysfunctional or abusive. Others find ourselves amongst toxic people later on in life, in relationships that makes us feel sick in our heads, hearts, and bodies. But how do we create better relationships? How do we let go of the toxic relationships?
Like most of our advice, we’re keeping it simple: just three steps to help you shift and let go of relationships that no longer serve you. Cause, let’s be honest, anything more than three steps is…SQUIRREL! (You get the idea):
First, identify the toxic people. This could seem obvious but it may not be. When we are in the midst of emotional chaos, it can sometimes be difficult to see our big pictures. Take some time to think about the 20-30 people that you interact with the most, be it in person, on the phone, or online. How do you feel when you think about interacting with them? Do you have a feeling of dread? Do you make an audible grunt at the thought? Do you find yourself smiling when you think about them? We have all heard about people that are energy suckers or “energetic vampires.” When life begins to feel sustainably heavy and enervated, it is time to reassess: Is my energy being wasted or traded for someone else’s bad vibe? You know who we’re talking about: the friend that only calls you when they want to vent. You spend two hours listening and holding space for them and, once they’re feeling better, they leave and call you again when they need something of you. Meanwhile, you’re feeling completely exhausted by the exchange. Keep in mind that identifying these people is not about pointing the finger at who did you wrong. It is about taking responsibility for the way you feel when you interact with this human(s).
So what is going on with the people that evoke negative feelings in you? Let’s take a look at these interactions from a place of responsibility. Is there is history where you can recall a story (or stories) that you hold on to as a reference of why you don’t like or vibe with this person? Or is there a personality trait they posses that makes you cringe? Realize that if you make it about them (IE: what they did wrong), you have no way of feeling better. It is only through the ownership of your part in the relationship that you can let go of negative feelings. By holding on to the stories/meaning that you are holding the relationship in, you’re actually creating a space of toxicity yourself. By reframing the meaning of the story to one that puts the responsibility on you, you can move on and either set boundaries or terminate the relationship. Look at it this way: you have a coworker that you just know has it out for you. There have been so many moments where they have taken credit for your work or talked behind your back that you could literally write a script about all the drama and chaos it’s created. Given your experience, you may have created a meaning like, “This person hates me for no reason,” or “They are socially incompetent and insensitive.” These meanings give away your power. You cannot control whether or not they hate you, or whether they truly are maladjusted or insensitive. What meaning could you create that may or may not be true but in which you actually do have power? How about, “I have not been thoughtful in the past about creating emotional boundaries with this person.” Now YOU have the power and you can DO something about it. When it’s all on “the other person,” you deny yourself a role in the dynamic. The truth is, you’re equally as responsible for creating an unhealthy dynamic. Own that and make a change.
Define to yourself what it is that you want the relationship to look like. If you’d like a non-existent relationship, be OK with that. Being good with letting go of people takes patience and courage. There may be fall out. If it’s your boss you’d like to extract from your life, you’ll want to perhaps secure a different gig before you act. If it’s your sister in law, there may be family drama. Be prepared to have those tough conversations, sometimes with more than just the person you want to move away from.
As you move through the decades of your life you will notice, and probably already have, that the people around you have changed. If you’d thought about the 20-30 people in your life you interacted with the most ten years ago, the list would look way different. The case will be the same ten years from today. Life takes turns, expected and unexpected. So if the company you keep will change to some extent, why not change it deliberately? Choose whose energy you want to share space with. You’re responsible for your life, after all.
As we ring in the new year, many of us find ourselves reevaluating and reinventing our habits, mindsets, and businesses. We begin to set short- and long-term goals all in the hopes of maximizing our happiness and prosperity for the next 12 months. While this is a helpful practice in creating focus and goals in our personal life, it can prove especially helpful when it applies to our businesses. How so?
As little kids in science class we learned that darkness is the absence of light, a seemingly simple and obvious definition. Over the years, we go on collecting more and more definitions, rarely giving them a second thought. It is not until life grows a little more complicated and we grow a little older that we begin finding comfort in such simple, yet thoughtful, explanations. As we are stretched and as we evolve, we recycle this information, rarely re-exploring their meaning or their application.
So what of our personal darkness then? Everyone of us has endured periods of heaviness and negativity at some point in our lives. Truly overcoming these moments comes through the realization that when we focus our attention on the pain can only multiply the darkness. When we unconsciously (or deliberately) cling to our anger and our grudges, we being to attract circumstances and people that are equally as resentful and cynical. We attract what we are, after all.